Cat and Yarn Gnome Deterrent

Have you ever been to the great pyramids of ancient Utanianta?
The breathtaking Pekingese statues of the gods from a time within?
This yard figurine is like those except waaay better and not as lame.
This is the kind of figurine that your grandma will tell people about for 100 years.
One time ancient voyager “Plattus” went to meet the god of the forest. There he was met with utter disgrace because he did not have this figurine.
He died that day.
No one was even sad.
Everyone knew he didn’t have this figurine.
One time a better ancient voyager “Skupoltes” went to the same god of the forest and he didn’t die. And he got lots of respect and money.
Very impressive.
Not saying it was because of this statue.
But…
;)